When your mind is your worst enemy….

Am I beautiful, what about those scars how can anyone think I am beautiful? 

We as woman have this internal fight in our heads on a daily basis, I should not eat that cause it will go right to my hips, ass or stomach… when I first started to dip my toes in the kinky lifestyle it amazed me all these woman small, medium and bigger in size and the confidence they exuded was just beautiful and then to watch there men look at them like there were the sun, stars and moon and there favourite lollipop to lick, kiss and caress. 

I have as most woman always doubted my beauty, my self worth, and the inner strength in my self, we don’t know our strength till it is tested, we don’t really know our own beauty till we can see it that day you look in the mirror and never go omg look at my bags, my hair is a mess, woman come in all shapes and sizes, we are all gorgeous maybe not to everyone but to someone you are the most beautiful and amazing woman and when we find them after years of being nicely ignored, or told we are not beautiful it takes a strong man or woman to hold on to us, make us see our true selves but in the end it is us we have to believe it to really be able to believe when our partners say it. 

There is always that self doubt, we waiver but we always know that it is not forever, believe it or not ladies, men suffer the same self doubt it just may not always be about looks, it could be in the confidence of being who they want to be just like us. 

So the next time you start questioning your worth, your beauty, your strength ask yourself “is this really me or my inner self doubt ” that asshole voice we let talk down to us, when you have those moments say would I talk to my friend like this ? “I know I wouldn’t so why do we think it is okay for us to talk to ourselves like that?” 

I am enjoying getting older not for the reason that my knee’s don’t like me, or the fact that the crazy sexual positions make me hurt for days on end, or that coffee now keeps me up lol 

It is for the reason that I am to the point I don’t care what people think of my looks, of what I am wearing or what I have I am proud that I am me and I mean in every way. I may not be rich in life but I am rich in what I have, I have this inner peace that I wish I had as a youth, this soul that just wants to help and love others regardless of how it could hurt in the end. 

“Life is not about what you have, it is about what you make of what you have” my grandfather always said this to me and I always gave him the cockeyed look like HUH! I never understood what he meant until I had my first child and then I got it. 

So when someone says your beautiful say thank you, don’t belittle it don’t say well I have to lose more weight or my ankles are to fat  just say thank you!  

You are not alone in your self talk or the ever ending mind of yours working against you, just know that you are beautiful for more then your looks, for your smile that lights up the room, for your mind cause it is mysterious and loving, for your feet cause they are cute or for that twinkle in your eye that tells everyone you are mischief…just say thank you ! 

Most of all believe in you cause in the end your are your most powerful support or you can be your worst enemy your choice. 

Kiki Slade 




8 thoughts on “When your mind is your worst enemy….

  1. This lifestyle has made me feel sexier and more confident with my body than ever before. Just look at the pics of women on Fetlife, all shapes and sizes…and the wonderful, supportive and sexy comments on their pics. It’s not the body, it’s what you do with it. I feel a blog coming on…will be writing on this topic for sure!

  2. You’re right, and I know you’re right – which is why I’m working on it.
    I saw a great meme the other day on Facebook. It said, “Don’t believe everything you think.” That’s especially true with body image.
    Excellent post!

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