Hi my name is Kiki and I am a mommy………
I am 36 yr old single mother of two amazing sweet, beautiful minions who are the brightest spot in my life, they make me laugh, keep me young dance with me when I play the music loud when doing the dishes and are forever asking me questions about everything. Now in my world I work full time, I have family obligations and career I am building and then there is my darker, side and it is a fine balance and hard and scary all at once cause I want it all I want the wonderful feeling of being full time sub but in the real world lets face it a lot of men are not keen to be with woman that have children cause most know they will come second. (if they don’t they are told from the get go) I will never put my children before a guy now if the right man comes around and he is accepted by my kids and is good loving family man that dynamic may change but at the heart of that would always be the well being of my children. Which on some levels may be why I am not truly seeking a full time relationship , or that maybe I am not ready to share my minions with anyone is that selfish maybe but they are mine.
Life in general is a fine balance making time for all your life obligations and then throw in the wonderment of the lifestyle at best right now I am bedroom submissive and I am okay with that but I know when my kids are older I want more, I want it all, and I know it will happen it is just not in the cards right now my life is taken up with my kids but I still get time to “play” but it is not always enough, then the guilt set in that I feel like I should just be concentrating on my children not trying to play .
Single parents are a special breed they in most situations that I know of have to be both parents, have to be the provider the entertainment, the laundry service, accountant and the list goes on.
Then add in somewhere a social life and in the end when I get a night off I usually want to sleep. So my release is play it is that one time when I can truly be me to let all the stress go, let my mind go and just feel, just be in that moment feel the hands groping at my body like a man starving for his last meal, his dominance taking over and my submission allowing me to let go.
I have come to the conclusion as of late that I will probably only be bedroom submissive for a while still and that is kinda a bummer I want to give myself to one person in every way that is possible in the D/s dynamics I want to build on it feel it all the time I had it once I know I can have it again but maybe I am so picky but I know my self worth and what I want and I am willing to be patient and wait for my prince of darkness and light to come till then I will keep my mind open and keep exploring and working on bettering myself and understanding more of who I am.
Till then I will keep my mind busy, my kids happy and keep smiling cause in the big scheme of life I have been given so much to be blessed with and I will endeavor to be the best mom I can be, the best person and be me, but there is always the selfish voice in my head that always keep me wondering when.